HN Theater @HNTheaterMonth

Lyrics below. The infamous Javascript ecosystem. Can't live with it, can't live without it. What often starts out as excitement over how nifty things like two-way binding are often ends in grumbling about Webpack configuration and dependency bloat.

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/%24stdout/1462513581
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5dthHxDshaRB9IElwEfVgW
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/stdoutrap
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/stdoutrap
Twitter: https://twitter.com/stdoutrap


Lyrics:

I got a task to do
I got a app to bootstrap
Check up on Hacker News
Angular 2, React or Vue?
I gotta make a call
Who’s got the time to read through it all?
Let’s just go with React
npm install, try a console.log
Got the 2 way binding
Got the 1 way data flow
Yeah this is the way to go
I wish I did this like a day ago
jQuery is so old
This is the up and coming
Gonna be so productive
Managing state and render functions
Code’s looking slick
Writing scripts in ES6? (f*** yeah)
And I love the virtual DOM
Wait, I need a package.json
I need redux
redux-router and thunks
Gotta keep that code consistent
So I download eslint
And jest for tests is a must
moment just to tell time
Plus lodash to go fast
And add babel to compile
Pull in a drag and drop
Pull in a datepicker, pull in a clock
Pull in a chart and jwt
classnames to keep markup clean
So many dependencies
Went on a spree on npm registry
I forgot webpack
Had to read 200 blogs to set that
Starting to hate this s***
Never signed up for all of the maintenance
All of this work, just to say my app has only 1 page in it
Yeah I went full out SPA
Now my logic’s all over the place
It’s a nightmare to manage the state
And React wants me to upgrade
Can’t tell when my app even breaks
Loading gif all in your face
You might see it for 5 minutes straight
Someone please take it away
What a setback, what a mess
The fate of my app rests with leftpad? Hell.js
Hell.js (never ends)
Hell.js (all the wrong versions)
Hell.js (what the f***)
I’m in Hell.js (all the wrong versions)
Hell.js (don’t tell anybody)
Hell.js (but man I miss jQuery)
Hell.js (man I miss jQuery)
Hell.js


Credits:
Original song: XXXTENTACION - Look At Me! (Prod. Rojas and Jimmy Duval)
Instrumental: Reprod. by B.O Beatz