HN Theater @HNTheaterMonth

Don't tell people your goals.

I heard this in a TED talk years ago[0].

Telling people what you plan to do can evoke the same emotions as actually doing that thing, lowering the drive to do the work to accomplish the goal because you got your emotional reward already.

Being a serial starter, I retroactively noticed this pattern in myself when I heard this. Now, when I want to do something new, I shut up about it until I either complete it or have enough momentum in the project to have reached critical mass.

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

⬐ jerrygoyal

But telling your goals to the people who care about you is actually a good thing. They'd give you honest feedback, point out (any) mistakes, and support you along the way.

⬐ Haneant

Yes. There are things you can’t do by yourself, and we’re a social species.

⬐ kingkongjaffa

None

⬐ drakonka

I think that depends very much on the person. It really does make sense that sharing with people who care about you would be beneficial, but it really doesn't seem to work for me. If I tell my goal even to someone who is close to me too early, I'm just much less likely to do it. It's as if a large chunk of that intrinsic motivation is just gone as soon as I verbalize my goal or plan to any sort of audience. It impacts me on a small as well as large scale.

Small scale example: If I tell my partner that I plan on going to the gym this weekend, I'm less likely to go when the time actually comes. If I make a plan to go to the gym but don't tell anyone, I'll probably do it.

Larger scale example: When I decided to try selling my fiction writing, I purposefully told no one for about two or three months, until I made some sales. Then, when I felt I had enough momentum and something to show for my plans, I told my partner what I've been doing. He was very very supportive. But then I fell into a habit of telling him _too much_ about my writing journey and plans, thinking it's safe now. It wasn't. The more I talked about it, the less I actually did it. It got to the point where I had to go into lockdown mode of not talking about it at all (and asking him not to ask). Now, I am careful to only talk to him about aspects of writing I've already finished. I can talk about how I've released a book, or what challenges I had in the last release. But I can't talk to him about what I'm writing this weekend, or what my plans are for my writing, or when I hope to have my next release.

⬐ kbrannigan

> shut up about it until I either complete it or have enough momentum in the project to have reached critical mass.

That's the key! It's about validating the goal by yourself first. Having support from people is amazing.

Not a written content, but Derek Sivers' TED talk https://youtu.be/NHopJHSlVo4

I'm not the person you replied to, but...

Could it be Derek Sivers' TED Talk "Keep your goals to yourself"?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

⬐ milohax

I haven't watched this (I'm on a bus, bandwidth concerns) but the title just made me think: "yes, keep your goals to myself. In a diary. That way I won't be demotivated by premature announcement, yet I'll be bursting to have something to show when I make progress"

Promissing to ones self, for me at least, is a motivator because I trust myself more, and the trust is reinforced as I complete goals. But announcing "I'm doing this thing" either causes anxiety, or demotivates nectar is already our there, as the article describes.

Hi HN, I'm the founder of BurnTheBoats.org.

Burn The Boats is a free service that lets you create irrevocable social pre-commitments. After committing to a goal on the site and providing your friends' email addresses, Burn The Boats will email them on your deadline. The only way to stop that email is to pay a cancellation fee, whose amount you choose when you set your goal.

Unlike other goal-setting platforms, Burn The Boats doesn't email your friends right away and encourages you to keep your goal to yourself. This is because research shows that sharing your goal can make you less likely to achieve it (which was the topic of one of Derek Sivers' Ted Talks [1]). By only divulging your goal to your friends on the due date, Burn The Boats gives you the benefits of social accountability without the motivation-sapping effects of sharing your goal immediately.

I'd appreciate your feedback on any aspect of the site (concept, design, copy, etc...). Thanks for reading!

Cheers! Bevan

ps. I've vlogged the process of building the app, which you can see here: https://burntheboats.org/story

[1] [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4]

Relevant 3min TED Talk by Sivers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

what if by pressing the button you get the feeling of accomplishment without doing any of the work? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

As I mentioned in the other thread, there is actually plenty of evidence against this view, evidence showing that publicly announcing your goals actually reduces your motivation.

Here is the same short TED talk I posted on the subject in the other thread: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

Don't mean to rain on your parade, just trying to get all the relevant numbers out there. Your brain may vary.

Yup, it was Derek Silvers in a TED talk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

Well worth watching. This one is < 4 minutes. Cites his sources.

⬐ AgentConundrum

Blog post mentioned at the end, with links to sources and related materials: http://sivers.org/zipit

Microsoft's mentality reminds me of a recent TedTalk: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

The researcher concludes that when you tell others what you are going to do, that your mind tricks itself into believing that the task has already been achieved, and reduces the incentive to do the hard work to actually achieve it. Thus, when Steve Balmer gushes to the press and says that iPhone is going to get obliterated, it probably reduces the chances of that actually happening.

⬐ yason

This is so true, works on personal level also.

How many of you has boasted to your friends "I'm working on this cool new software, I'll have a beta in few months to show you", and this was already five years ago and you never did release anything? I have.

The best itches are kept closed until you have something to release. Then you can maybe tap into that other drive, where having users testing and depending on your software keeps you going.

⬐ chris_l

Interesting. Maybe thats another reason why garage-style startups trump their glamorous colleagues with all the press coverage?

⬐ volida

well, Steve Balmber isn't the one who will actually build the competitive device, and judging from demo videos I'd say Windows Phone 7 as an OS, looks liike a serious competitor for people to build applications for.