HN Theater @HNTheaterMonth

Here's a great video going over the same concepts but in a humorous way.

7 ways to maximize misery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

7 ways to maximize misery (one of the more useful CGP Grey videos) -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o 7 Ways to Maximise Misery - CGP Grey

There is a good book employing the TRIZ mindset for self-improvement called "How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use"[0]. Although some of the outcomes the book lead you to can seem banal, if you approach them from the perspective of how to optimize misery, it can give you a new perspective. It certainly did for me in some areas.

CGP Grey also made a video based on the book, called "7 Ways to Maximize Misery"[1] that may be easier to digest.

[0]https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/25898044-how-to-be-mi...

[1]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

⬐ lighttower

I have always had trouble making short term attainable goals. For example I want to restart doing yoga. But it's been a few years since I've done yoga and now I can no longer touch my toes. Whereas before I was able to do the full primary sequence of ashtanga. Every time I think of my decline it kills any motivation to do anything to stop it. Anyone have any tips?

⬐ villasv

Read the book because the video got me interested, one of the most entertaining reads of my life and definitely the one book that could somehow count as self-help that I'd ever recommend.

The way of presenting reminded me of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o (7 Ways to Maximize Misery) and also reminded me of the 10 commandments.

True. But you also need empty space not to feel trapped in a cage or else you'll catch that cabin fever.

You can always go the park provided you got into that discipline, that you there is a park less than ten minutes away or that it's not too cold/raining/snowing: Not ideal. And it might a shitty square surrounded by cars.

Mentally, it is also very helpful to have separate spaces for different aspects of your life. When your room is also your office and your kitchen, it doesn't make for good sleep, good work or good cooking.

Relevant videos : https://youtu.be/LO1mTELoj6o https://youtu.be/snAhsXyO3Ck

CGP Grey has an excellent video on this exact kind of goal setting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

And another on New Year's resolutions more generally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGuFdX5guE

This is also #1 in Grey's "7 Ways to Maximize Misery" Video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

⬐ f69281c

I've been institutionalized for suicidal depression a few times and aside from endorsing that video, I wanted to hijack your position in the comment hierarchy to express that a scary thing about the linked article is that a lot of people aren't going to get any counter-information; they're just going to get nudged into a lifestyle that they'll probably contemplate sweet release from at some point.

Every once in a while I see an article from a major publication that makes me recoil. And I don't know how to express it but the fact that someone's gonna kill themself (long) after following the article's advice isn't the worst part of it at all.

Most people don't actually kill themselves, they just desperately want out of a situation they can't convey to anyone, can't fix on their own, and makes no sense. It's like if someone's house got robbed and they got beaten into a hospital bed on every prime-numbered day of the month, but no one told them those rules and no one believed them when they talked about it. The day that poor bastard got fed up, burned their house down, and just started walking would be better than the thirty days before that, even excluding prime-numbered ones.

Anyway I'll be holding my breath for an apology article from the new york times so I guess I'll see you on the other side

See also CGP Grey’s 7 Ways to Maximize Misery:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

I'm doing well. Ironically I think I'm doing better now than I would have been if the pandemic didn't happen; but still not in a particularly good position. Optimistic, though!

If you're struggling, it's probably because the systems that you put in place at the start of the pandemic have broken down. (Kinda like how we eventually forget/give up on New Years Resolutions...)

I'd recommend these[1] two[2] videos from CGP Grey to help. The first talks about the kind of things that you might be doing that are making you miserable, and the second about specific ways in which we can cope with the pandemic (and specifically a lockdown, if you are still in one).

Brief notes:

Avoid doing any of these things:

* Staying still, avoiding exercise

* Having an irregular sleep schedule

* Maximizing screen time; going to sleep looking at your phone, and using it as soon as you wake up

* Encouraging negative emotions, eg: by looking at the news

* Setting unmeasurable or unachievable goals. Waiting for motivation to strike.

* Obsessing over trying to be happy.

* Following your self-destructive impulses

Partition your house/space into the following spaces, and try to obey these rules about the spaces:

* A space for exercise. If you don't have equipment, you can do body weight exercises. If you have access to safe outdoor spaces, make sure to use that too. Make sure you set a minimum amount of time, and stick to it.

* A space for sleep. Do not use your phone here. Do not eat here. Do not linger here. It's just for sleep. If you're failing to sleep, leave and try again later. Setting an alarm to wake up is important to maintaining a consistent sleep schedule. It doesn't matter when you wake up - so long as the time is consistent.

* A recreation zone. Go here to do activities that you actually enjoy. Only do these activities if you intend to give them your full attention. Keep an eye on the quality of the recreation, and make sure you set a maximum time limit.

* A creation zone. Somewhere to work, study, or develop skills. Crafts, coding, cooking. Make sure this space is dedicated; so do not consume entertainment here, do not eat here.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o [2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAhsXyO3Ck

⬐ randomsearch

If you have room for all those spaces in your house, you’re extremely luck. I work, sleep, and exercise in the same room. I’m not unusual in that respect.

⬐ Jetroid

Hence why I said house/space. I currently live in a single (small) room, too.

Every room has four walls.

My room is dedicated like this:

Northern wall: Desk with laptop. Go here for work/creativity.

Southern wall: My bed is here. Sleep only.

Eastern wall: My worktop is here for cooking.

Western wall: I drag my chair over here when I want to read or watch something.

Floor in the middle: Exercises.

You don't need to have a lot of space to make dedicated spaces. It's more of a mental thing.

⬐ randomsearch

Wow that's pretty crazy but an interesting take!

⬐ kieckerjan

If you have only one desk that you use for work and recreation, here is a little hack: switch chairs. I have a work chair and a "lazy" chair. Same desk, different feeling. Works for me.

This reminds me of a CGP Grey Video “How to maximize misery”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

Sometimes it's more illustrative to look at what you can do to ensure you'll be depressed.

7 Ways to Maximize Misery: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

having been, for want of a better term, ‘highly miserable’ in the past, the entirety of this article comes across as insidiously toxic and detrimental to the mental well-being of those who are suffering.

there is a.. loosely similar CGP Grey video, which approaches the matter in a much more rational context [1]

for anyone suffering, i emplore you to not read this and watch this instead;

[1] - https://youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

⬐ smogcutter

Yeah, agreed. "Just stop thinking like that" is terrible advice for someone suffering depression (or etc). Especially with the added spice of "and also you're a jerk."

I do think there's a good point here that these patterns are self-reinforcing, and that there can be a kind of counterintuitive pleasure in really getting down into the muck and living there. See also Notes from Underground. But the snide and aggressive tone here is really bizarre.

⬐ SZJX

At least this can point out some of the cognitive traps that they might not be aware of. Also this might help people around them recognize their problems and then try to find them help. When the awareness of depression is still not high enough in the population, many of the problems can be hard to properly understand, describe and classify.

At least I would say I can recognize some patterns both in my past self and also in several people I am familiar with much clearer after reading it. I don't think the author in any way wanted them to get "pilloried" and "feel bad". That's definitely not the intention.

⬐ jasonszhao

Thank you for the video.

As someone who is still in school and struggles with emotion/time management/procrastination, I was particularly hit by "focus on goals that are after which you wish to achieve." People around me have pointed this out to me, but it was only until recently did I realize how serious it was.

I think that my impulsive nature and addiction to novelty fuel this problem. Even browsing Hacker News is a manifestation of this. HN always has some cool idea that I could be studying or hacking on when I have free time. But I spend too much time thinking about possibilities than getting done what's right in front of me, because I'm addicted to novelty. I especially neglect school work, which isn't boring at all and rather fascinating and useful, and instead try to find weird things to explore. My huge queue on Pocket is one of many testaments to this. The result is poor, and I feel miserable and disappointed in myself.

Of course, as the video touches upon, modern technology (social media, apps, even internet pornography) exploits humans' desire for novelty (though as previously explained, I think I'm far more vulnerable than average). The video helped me see the connection between my habit and this tendency.

⬐ SZJX

The point is that you'll always have to ensure a chunk of time for your "main" activity and give it sustained efforts. Reading broadly and exploring a range of topics is always good and beneficial, but you need to limit your time on them. If you just spend your whole day reading various disparate newsletters and articles instead of focusing on one book, one particular area that you dive deep into, your career prospect, etc., it wouldn't work.

⬐ jsmo

This was a wonderfully witty and almost equally sarcastic take on happiness. Good guffaws guaranteed.

⬐ valdezm

Yeah, I am disgusted in reading this, really sickens me. I have reached out to the author that I might be able to help her. This article really makes me want to create a counter-article, "The 14 True Identities of Joyful People"(I've exchanged Habits for True Identities, because it is an inherent worth that we all have and when known transforms us to choose Joy, this not being of works as is the case with habits).. Anyways, I suspect I may just write that article.

⬐ pjc50

I think it depends on how you take it; some of cognitive behavioural therapy is about changing how you behave physically in order to achieve changes of your mood, or break you out of unhealthy mental habits.

⬐ swampers

I similarly didn't appreciate this approach. It pillories those who think like this, whether that's within their control or not.

⬐ hn_throwaway_99

Amen.

I didn't watch your linked video, but I definitely agreed with your post. As someone who has also been highly miserable (aka clinically depressed) in the past, various sentiments along the line of "come on, life is great, why can't you appreciate it?" and "that's no so bad, suck it up" most definitely did NOT help me overcome my depression.

Which makes me wonder: if the purpose of this post is to belittle "miserable" people, well I guess it succeeds, but then that seems a pretty miserable thing to do in the first place. If the purpose is to ironically remind folks that there are easy things you can do to not be miserable, I don't think it's doing it in a particularly effective way.

⬐ creddit

Having been both clinically depressed and just generally negative and miserable, I think there's a large difference. This article addresses the latter of those two situations in a way that resonated pretty deeply with me. Clinical depression is drastically different and should be treated more as a disease than a state of mind. I don't believe this article comes across as suggesting its conclusions can treat clinical depression but rather are the symptoms of highly negative and miserable states of mind.

⬐ None

None

⬐ unclebucknasty

Hard to distinguish, as clinical depression produces many of the maligned behaviors, making it reasonable to read this piece as an attack on those suffering.

OTOH, there is a CBT angle here. That is, a depressed person may find relief in working to recognize and change the behaviors and thinking that supports those behaviors.

CGP Grey made a great video [0] pretty similar to this, it has a bunch of points about physical things (changing sleep schedule, staying indoors) and keeps the same sarcastic tone.

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

1) Long walks in the fresh air every day (don't underestimate this one!)

CGP Grey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

⬐ zapperdapper

Very nice!!

Hang in there. There are some great replies here that I hope you take to heart, especially the psychological side of it. It sounds like you haven't been through this before (it still sucks regardless of how many times it happens).

Some practical questions:

1) Were you fired or laid off? There is a difference and it especially makes a difference when you apply for unemployment. How did HR or your manager frame it?

2) UI. I see you already applied which is great. The process is different in every state (assuming you're American here so correct me if I'm wrong). In CA, it takes about 2-3 weeks after you apply to get your first check.

3) Follow what the others said about confirming what they are going to say about you if someone calls for references. Most companies now cover their asses by only giving dates of employment, even if you were were a great employee.

4) If you made good friends at the company, they're probably wondering what happened to you as well. Be sure to reach out, go for a drink or two, etc. I still have drinks and am good friends with people from various jobs throughout the years, some of which ended like this. When I was laid off from my last job, my personal phone and email blew up because the only thing the company said was "X is no longer with us" in an email

5) Give yourself a certain amount of time to look over and reflect on what went right and what went wrong but then cut it off and don't dwell. There are probably mistakes made on both sides that you can learn from.

6) Go ahead and get your resume out there, LinkedIn spiffied up, and Indeed profile updated. Know what you want from your next position too that you didn't like about this one (see #5). The good part about working a shitty job and these experiences is that it teaches you what you don't want in life and work.

Personal stuff:

I thought mattmanser wrote a great reply for this, as well as some others.

1) Have you had time off in a while or did you sacrifice some of that for the job? If you want to take a short break and clear your head and heart, now is a great time to do so. I was let go in July and wish in August or September I had taken at least a week or two elsewhere to decompress.

2) You mentioned shame. There's no shame here. This shit happens to a lot of people, especially in this more cut-throat day and age. You're friends, if they truly are friends, are going to empathize with you, let you talk it out, and hopefully buy you a round of beers or three.

As someone else said, it's business. Sounds like if you were laid off you're in an at-will state. Think of it this way: Employers expect us to give them at least two weeks notice but they usually have policies of laying off people immediately and sending out the door that day. It's an unbalanced power relationship.

3) If you may not realize it until too late, but it's easy to get really down-down and time will slip away. Nothing wrong with sleeping in the first day or two off but if you regularly find yourself just staying in bed all day, overthinking things, that's starting to trend to minor depression. Be sure to get outside, exercise, see people, etc. It sounds like you already have that going for you.

If that shit does take hold, and even in general, I highly recommend this book called "How to Be Miserable" that uses counter-examples to make you think about things. I bought it after coming across the CGP-Grey video that discusses it:

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

Book: https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Miserable-Strategies-Already/d...

4) You were already unhappy so see this as an opportunity, a possibility, vs a negative. Work on a project you've always wanted to start but didn't have the time or energy. Work on your job applications and/or with a recruiter for a certain amount of time then block out time to be creative. Who knows, you might create a job for yourself and then only you can fire you!

5) Overall, good luck! It sucks but you will come out stronger for it. There are always options out there. It can be a struggle to stay positive and confident. The pain and anger of this will pop out of nowhere at times but just realize what's happening and let it go.

I've been out of work for six months now, some of it due to being picky about my next job, some of it with a month or so missing because of aforementioned depression, and now, my UI has run out and I have about two months to make something happen here.

But, for once, I'm really fucking positive about my future. I'm spending a part of the day applying to work and other parts of the day learning new things that will help out in the short to medium term. If shit doesn't work out here, my backup plan is to say fuck it and go to Taiwan and teach English for a year where I can save money as well as continue to pursue my learning.

You always have options it's just hard to know what they are sometimes. Keep talking to people, going to meetups, participating in life. You're going to be fine!

There are a lot. I thought this one was really funny [0]. This one I found very interesting [1].

Somewhat different, is the Hello Internet [2] podcast, which is by Grey and Brady Haran who you might know from the Numberphile youtube channel [3]. It's basically the 2 of them chatting about random stuff, but I find it very entertaining.

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrObZ_HZZUc

[2] http://www.hellointernet.fm/

[3] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-I6XTVZXww

1. Embrace the grind. Motivation comes and goes, but the grind remains. This doesn't mean working all day every day, but rather setting aside specific blocks of time and doing the same thing every single day. Workouts should happen at the same time every day. Work should happen at the same time every day. Each of these things should be daily habits and doing them at the same time every day helps them become habits.

2. Avoid flow[0]. It's tempting, seducing and addicting, but you don't learn anything when you're in a state of flow. Anything sufficiently hard as to improve your skills should leave you feeling a little frustrated. Get used to that feeling.

3. Drop TV, Porn, news, music and video games. These things all give you rewards without having to do any work. In doing so, they steal your motivation and energy.

4. Stop eating sugar. If you want to get things done, strive for a steady blood sugar level. It's hard to work when your blood sugar drops and you fall asleep at your desk.

5. Sleep during the hours of 10pm and 2am[1]. That's when your body makes most of the hormones you need every day.

6. Do the opposite of this video: 7 ways to maximize misery by CGP Grey: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

[0]: http://calnewport.com/blog/2011/12/23/flow-is-the-opiate-of-...

[1]: http://www.anitarossiter.com.au/blog/early-nights-are-in-ord...

⬐ jeremywho

I find #3 (minus the music part) to be so important and yet so challenging, having grown up in a house where the TV was ALWAYS on in the background. I spent my teen years falling asleep with the TV on. It feels very uncomfortable at first to forego TV/Movies, FOMO hits hard.

A couple of ideas for taming it.

0) Media detox. It's can be so uncomfortable at first, feel what its like to go without for a week. A similar thing worked for me when I was trying to lose weight, getting used to fasting and what true hunger felt like allowed me to restrict my calories effectively without falling off the wagon.

1) Don't pick up new shows, finish out current seasons and leave it at that.

2) Make a rule that you won't watch TV/movies unless you are watching with someone else, so it's a social activity.

3) Only watch shows when you are working out, cleaning, other mundane task like that. Although you could go the other direction and say those are great activities to practice mindfulness with.

4) Pick one day/week to allow for watching things, ie Part of Sunday is just a lazy day in bed. Kind of like a cheat day.

⬐ kennydude

> Drop TV, Porn, news, music and video games.

No fun allowed then?

⬐ lj3

Active things. Go for a hike, play frisbee, walk the dog, play piano or guitar or whatever floats your boat. The whole point is to work for your rewards instead of getting them instantly at the push of a button.

⬐ goatlover

Is this a live to code philosophy?

⬐ lj3

It's not a philosophy at all. It's just a list of random things that have improved my life for the better.

⬐ parthdesai

Can you elaborate on point 3 ( Music part).

⬐ lj3

Recorded music is great. I listen to recorded music all the time when I'm at the gym or at the office. I use it to set the mood. I use it to fill the silence. I use it to block out office noise. But here's the big question: could you go a week without listening to any recorded music at all? You'd be surprised how many people try to stop and find themselves feeling symptoms of withdrawal. That implies some form of psychological addiction, which in turn robs motivation.

The whole point of point 3 is to work for your rewards instead of getting them instantly at the push of a button. It's too easy to get addicted to the latter and with any kind of addiction comes a decrease in motivation.

⬐ allhailkatt

Exception state: Music helps with chronic fatigue/pain. If you're one of the unlucky ones, go with any and all effective pain management.

By all means, make your Skinner cage to lengthen assumed times for rewards, but make sure you can still run.

⬐ elliotec

This is some pretty odd advice. Basically it amounts to "stop doing things that you enjoy". Drop music, news, and video games? Not listening to music will not make you a better programmer. I agree about sugar in moderation and getting good rest (though the specific times seem debatable).

#2 is a serious misunderstanding of flow[0] and is against research arguing that flow states facilitate learning[1].

Flow is not easy-peasy non-frustration time, it is getting "fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity." To deny yourself that is blocking yourself from the most productive and rewarding of human experiences.

One of the fundamental ideas of flow is that when the task is challenging enough to break one out of the state, additional skills are learned to return to the flow state.[2]

In my opinion, to achieve your maximum potential as a programmer, you should be striving to hit a flow state as much as possible.

[0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_(psychology)#Education

[1]: https://www.learning-theories.com/flow-csikszentmihalyi.html

[2]: https://www.amazon.com/Flow-Psychology-Experience-Perennial-...

I have most recently been trying to plan out at least 6 months ahead. How I am approaching this was inspired by some life events and some videos I had seen on Youtube.

I really liked this video by Scott Hanselmann (https://youtu.be/FS1mnISoG7U?t=8m2s) about scaling yourself and I liked this video that came out recently (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o) about behaviours that maximize your misery.

What I took from these two videos is that goals are important and in order to reach these goals, you need to find a way to keep yourself accountable without creating goals that are vague or unattainable.

I have just started writing a bunch of to-do lists on Google Keep and then I try to group various tasks and assign 3 per day. The goal is to focus on 3 things per day that build into 3 major areas of focus for the week which fuels 3 goals for the month... and so forth.

With that said, I missed some of the to-do's for a couple of days for this last week, but I prioritized other items that had come up spontaneously and completed the majority of the to-do's. At the very least, when I fail, I can at least look at what I had accomplished and not feel as bad.

Hope this helps.

CGP Grey recently posted a great video titled "7 Ways to Maximize Misery". It's worth checking out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO1mTELoj6o

⬐ chaqke

i do almost everything on cgpgrey's list, but i don't think i'm unhappy. life is pretty good!

i also do about half of the list in the article. perhaps there are just different preferences...