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Not Even Close: The State of Computer Security (with slides) - James Mickens

NDC Conferences · Vimeo · 11 HN points · 3 HN comments
HN Theater has aggregated all Hacker News stories and comments that mention NDC Conferences's video "Not Even Close: The State of Computer Security (with slides) - James Mickens".
Vimeo Summary
In this bleak, relentlessly morbid talk, James Mickens will describe why making computers secure is an intrinsically impossible task. He will explain why no programming language makes it easy to write secure code. He will then discuss why cloud computing is a black hole for privacy, and only useful for people who want to fill your machine with ads, viruses, or viruses that masquerade as ads. At this point in the talk, an audience member may suggest that Bitcoins can make things better. Mickens will laugh at this audience member and then explain why trusting the Bitcoin infrastructure is like asking Dracula to become a vegan. Mickens will conclude by describing why true love is a joke and why we are all destined to die alone and tormented. The first ten attendees will get balloon animals, and/or an unconvincing explanation about why Mickens intended to (but did not) bring balloon animals. Mickens will then flee on horseback while shouting “The Prince of Lies escapes again!”




NDC Conferences
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Hacker News Stories and Comments

All the comments and stories posted to Hacker News that reference this video.
This talk seems to always be relevant:

https://vimeo.com/135347162

Abstract: In this bleak, relentlessly morbid talk, James Mickens will describe why making computers secure is an intrinsically impossible task. He will explain why no programming language makes it easy to write secure code. He will then discuss why cloud computing is a black hole for privacy, and only useful for people who want to fill your machine with ads, viruses, or viruses that masquerade as ads. At this point in the talk, an audience member may suggest that Bitcoins can make things better. Mickens will laugh at this audience member and then explain why trusting the Bitcoin infrastructure is like asking Dracula to become a vegan. Mickens will conclude by describing why true love is a joke and why we are all destined to die alone and tormented. The first ten attendees will get balloon animals, and/or an unconvincing explanation about why Mickens intended to (but did not) bring balloon animals. Mickens will then flee on horseback while shouting “The Prince of Lies escapes again!”

randycupertino
That is the most hilarious abstract I have ever read in my life.
adjkant
The talk itself is just as funny too, please do watch it fully. It's not chock full of evidence, but it has some good points and some great entertainment.
willis77
I don't know who this James Mickens fellow is, but I like the cut of his jib.
Not Even Close: The State of Computer Security - https://vimeo.com/135347162

This talk is both interesting, more or less correct, and absolutely hilarious.

Another great one by James - "Not Even Close: The State of Computer Security": https://vimeo.com/135347162
Jun 15, 2016 · 2 points, 0 comments · submitted by nanis
Aug 12, 2015 · 4 points, 0 comments · submitted by giles
Aug 05, 2015 · 5 points, 0 comments · submitted by epsylon
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