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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

Chris Voss, Tahl Raz · 8 HN comments
HN Books has aggregated all Hacker News stories and comments that mention "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It" by Chris Voss, Tahl Raz.
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Amazon Summary
A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations―whether in the boardroom or at home. ** A Wall Street Journal Bestseller ** After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles―counterintuitive tactics and strategies―you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life. Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.
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Hacker News Stories and Comments

All the comments and stories posted to Hacker News that reference this book.
As a starting point, there is the excellent "never split the difference" book: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-De...
gregmac
I just listened to an interesting podcast interview with the author of this book [1].

He discusses what the GP said above: there's a team of say, 7 people listening, and each person has a specific job, depending on the situation: listening for positive things they say, negative things, tone, timing, background noise. Pretty interesting interview.

[1] https://www.jordanharbinger.com/chris-voss-negotiate-as-if-y...

notakio
Voss teaches classes, as well; they are useful well outside the bounds of hostage negotiation, in almost any context where soft interpersonal communication is a determining factor.

My introduction to Mr. Voss was through an immersive training event, where the participants got a small taste of his world/skillset. Watching him work was illuminating, to say the least. Mostly, the value I've retained from that experience has been applicable in business contexts, and, ironically, during the home-buying process. It changed how I looked at interpersonal conflicts, and has been very handy in figuring out a path which essentially leaves all parties feeling like they got what they needed to get out of the deal.

notakio
I should have included a link to his company, the Black Swan Group: https://www.blackswanltd.com/
Here are results for FBI Negotiator, on HN https://hn.algolia.com/?q=negotiator+fbi

.

also highly reccomend this book: Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It

https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-De...

..

Here is his TED Talk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjhDkNmtjy0

.

How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help book written by Dale Carnegie, published in 1936. Over 30 million copies have been sold worldwide, making it one of the best-selling books of all time https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influen...

+1.

If you prefer more pop-culture taste, "Never Split the Difference" is kind of similar (even though philosophically different.) The story is all about FBI and kidnapping, so it's less boring while the points made are a bit shallower than "Crucial Conversations".

[1] https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-De...

You might be interested in the book “Never Split The Difference” which has been recommended on HN frequently:

https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-De...

You might also be interested in looking into nonviolent communication.

proverbialbunny
Thank you. ^_^
hansthehorse
He has several talks and interviews on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=never+split+the...
The book “Never Split the Difference” was recommended on HN recently:

https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-De...

SkyPuncher
Very good book (audiobook is very well done).

It's a great balance of story-telling and teaching. He teaches some simple rules then provides examples of how he actually used to practices to get the results he wanted.

Also, none of his suggestions felt fake or pandering. Just small tweaks to how you word and approach things can have a huge impact without necessarily being an expert.

i just finished Never Split The Difference (https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-De...) and they also tend use different pronouns (they do not use I as much, but use other pronouns more often)
barking
This accords with a recent a high profile rape case in the UK involving rugby players where the defence barrister was questioning the alleged victim's account because she kept using 'you' rather than 'I' when describing her behaviour during the alleged rape. (The players were found not guilty in court but not on media and social media and were fired.)
mjohn
Or perhaps she found the experience traumatic and wanted to disassociate herself when describing the events? It's dangerous to read too much into how people describe traumatic experiences.
barking
I agree with you and yet people are convicted based on the basis of one person's word against another's all the time.
If you liked "Getting To Yes" you might also enjoy "Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It" https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062407805/ that has a somehow different perspective on negotiation
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